Gaius Valerius Catullus

Gaius Valerius Catullus (84-54) was an eques in some distant way attached to the powerful Valerii gens. Although his father was a friend of Julius, the young Catullus attacked him in his poems until reconciled at a dinner party. Catullus sought political advancement and went away to Bithynia on the staff of Memmius, but soured on politics for good after that experience. He is most famous for his affair with an older, married woman, whom he gave the pseudonym Lesbia (after Sappho, whose poetry Catullus imitated). The affair ended disastrously and Catullus wrote several angry poems about her to make himself feel better.

2
Sparrow, the favorite of my girlfriend,
With which she regularly plays, and holds between her thighs,
Whom she teases with her forefinger
And sometimes startles with sharp bites
When I desire something else.
I do not know why she likes to try
To please by giving pain.
I believe one day her heavy passion will yield:
If so, then I could play with you like her,
And lighten the sad worries of your mind!

11
Furius and Aurelius, comrades of Catullus,
Whether he shall enter far-off India,
Where the long drawn beat of the Indian Ocean
beats upon the shore,
Or whether he lands among the Hyrcani or soft Arabs,
Or the Sagae or the arrow-bearing Parthians,
Or where the seven-tongued Nile colors the waters,
Whether he goes across the high Alps,
Seeing the monuments of great Caesar:
The Gallic Rhine, the horrible see, or the far-off Brittons,
All things, wherever the will of the gods takes him,
You are ready to risk all with him at once,
Take this message to my ex –
and they are not nice words.
Let her live and fare well with her adulterers,
300 strong, whom she holds, all at the same time in an embrace,
Not really loving any of them, but breaking every
single one of them;
Nor will she regain my love, as before,
Which by her fault was cut down, just like the last flower
On a meadow, when a silent plow cut it
As it went by.


49 Some scholars think Catullus sent this poem after Cicero delivered the Pro Caelio, in which he accused Clodia and her brother of incest, to defend Caelius of charges of attempted poisoning. Cicero got Caelius off, and earned the hatred of Clodia. A better interpretation should be proposed.
Silver tongued among the sons of Romulus,
Those who live, those who died, and those who will be
in years to come,
Marcus Tullius, to you Catullus sends deepest thanks,
The worst poet of all, by as much the worst poet of all,
As you are the best lawyer of all.

101
Through many nations and over many seas
I have come to bring you, my brother, these sad offerings,
That I might bring you this sad memorial and in vain
Pay silent tribute to your ashes.
When Fortune took you from me, alas too soon,
Sad brother, wrongfully taken from me,
Nevertheless, now meanwhile, this sad duty is mine
To perform in the ancient rite of our ancestors, to your memory,
Accept this too late heartfelt brotherly grief,
And for all time, hello and farewell.



M. Valerius Martialis was descended from someone who had received Roman citizenship (probably from a M. Valerius Messalla). He came from Spain to Rome ca. AD 65 and tried to get in with Roman upper society. He became friends with Juvenal, Pliny the Younger, and others, achieving some social success under Domitian. His Epigrams show that he interacted with all levels of society, and particularly that he did not like miserly patrons who ill-treated their dependents.

1.47
Recently Diaulus was a doctor, now he is a mortician,
And that pretty well explains how he got most of his clients.

5.74
Asia and Europe cover the sons of Pompey, but he himself –
If any Earth covers him, it is Africa.
Can any Earth cover so great a man? No one tomb
Would be big enough to fit so great a downfall.

6.66
Gellianus the auctioneer was trying to sell
A girl whose reputation sits not well,
To those who live in the Subura slums,
For a long time people only bid small sums.
When he wished to persuade all that she was pure,
He dragged her against her will by the hand close to him,
And two, three, and four times kissed her.
What do you ask resulted from his kisses?
The guy who offered six bucks withdrew his bid.

9.4 Prostitution was not illegal or any more sordid than being a garbage collector, but it was dirty work that brought one into contact with lowlifes.
Galla can screw anyway you want for two gold coins,
And more than screw if you add two more.
Why are you paying her ten, Aeschylus?
Galla will suck you for less than that. You do it so she won’t tell.

9.68 Roman schools began at about 6am and lasted until about 1pm. All schools were private, so only those who could afford it got an education. More boys than girls went to school – probably from the age of 7-12.
Wicked schoolmaster, why is he always with us like some unseen ogre?
The crested roosters have not yet broken the silent dawn,
And already you growl with menacing tones.
It’s like bronze ringing with hammer strokes
When a sculptor makes an equestrian statue for a lawyer.
More noisy than a shout rising in a great amphitheater,
For the winning gladiator from his fans.
We ask for some quiet on our block, not all night,
For a little noise is allright,
But to get no sleep is awful. Send home your students.
Will you agree, Mr. Loudmouth, to take as much money
For shutting up as you do for teaching?

12.93 My younger brother’s 2nd favorite Epigram. Romans liked to keep dwarves as pets or servants. In fact the exotic was very fascinating for them.
In this way she can kiss her adulterous lover
When her husband is there, that wily Labulla.
She kisses her pigmy servant over and over,
Then he takes hold of him with many more kisses,
And after the adulterer slobbers all over him,
Laughing, he sends him back to the mistress.
The husband is made a greater fool than the dwarf!